Inspired by an episode of Oprah, they then begin a whirlwind descent into discovery in which it is revealed that the real enemy is their own government, which has used the war as an excuse to test new drugs on soldiers, because they are actually cheaper than lab mice. “We can’t wait to do more, starting with Steven Spielberg’s iconic war flick Saving Private Ryan.” An early draft called Saving Private Rihanna has been circulating for years, though Ryan actually refers to the surname of the soldier, and Rihanna was never seriously in contention for the eponymous role first made famous by Matt Damon. It is believed the new version will also include the opening twenty-seven-minute depiction of the Omaha Beach assault during the Normandy landings – only with all female soldiers on both sides of the conflict. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. As in the original there will some levity, now coming from a wise-cracking US Army sniper played by Amy Schumer. Keep making ‘em! And everyone lives happily ever after. The Porn Ultimatum: Oh, wait. Your email address is kept private. Since the Holocaust never happened, the Lebanese Schindler’s List is a film about a German industrialist named Oskar Schindler who loves going grocery shopping. Obama Talks and Talks and Talks About His Memoir and His Greatness. Last month, Paul Feig, director of “Bridesmaids” and co-creator of “Freaks and Geeks” (along with Judd Apatow), took to Twitter to confirm perhaps the biggest movie news of the fall season: a new “Saving Private Ryan” film is officially in the works—and will have a cast of all women. So the Lebanese have changed his name to Hassan McFly. Surprisingly, these movies haven’t really done that well with actual American movie-goers. Your transactions are secure. Apparently the Lebanese are planning to remake many of Spielberg’s famous movies so that they will conform with Lebanese values. Not even Reese Witherspoon, Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Redford, Jake Gyllenhaal, Charlize Theron, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise could save these films from assisted suicide at the box office. 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The film was nominated for 11 Academy Awards; Spielberg’s direction won his second Academy Award for Best Director, with four more awards going to the film. Hilarity ensues. Hopefully, however, Hollywood will ignore this message, and continue its decline in influence. In the Lebanese remake, instead of an alien, a group of kids discover a Hezbollah terrorist, who they hide in an underground bunker. His column generally appears on Tuesdays. This one has been chaos. tells little Gertie to “be good.” In our movie, before leaving to perform a suicide bombing against Jabhat Al-Nusra in Syria, the terrorist tells the children, “You are going to be martyrs…kill the Israeli oppressor.” Then he eats some Reese’s Pieces. Jewlarious Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. I’ve paid more for cars, and my cars are just boring. David Kilimnick, known as Jerusalem's Comedian, and dubbed Israel ’s “father of Anglo comedy” by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of stand-up comics in Israel . Killing Private Ryan is all about how Tom Hanks leads a group of American soldiers to hunt down Private Ryan and slaughter him as well as any other American privates they meet along the way. israelcomedy.com In this remake of the great adventure tale, the kids also discover a treasure but instead of finding the pirate One Eyed Willy’s gold, a bunch of Lebanese kids find a map to a weapons cache that Hezbollah has stored under an orphanage. Saving Private Ryan is a gritty, depressing remake of Kelly's Heroes I really feel like Saving Private Ryan is a gritty, depressing remake of Kelly's Heroes. Sent to Iraq with orders to support a Blackwater Security mission aimed at mowing down pregnant children outside shuttered abortion clinics, Private Ryan can only be saved by Lieutenant Tom Hank’s character, whose name escapes me. With access to over 4 million readers per month, and often more, we provide opportunities to add value to different brands across the country who are interested. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. The satirical Australian web site The Betoota Advocate fleshed out the story on 19 May 2017: Amy Schumer has today confirmed that she will be joining Sarah Silverman, Rebel Wilson, Melissa Mcartney and several other caucasian female stand-up comedians as the lead star in an upcoming Hollywood all-female Spielberg remake. “This will be the first all-female WWII film ever made”. The fake stories appear to have been inspired by a chorus of people on Twitter ironically calling for an all-female remake of “Saving Private Ryan,” following the release of “Ghostbusters” in the summer of 2016, itself a female-led remake of the 1984 comedy. For that matter, would they be safer on a military base or at a Hollywood producer’s mansion? In Iraq and the so-called “so-called” War on Terror, Hollywood has mounted a major propaganda effort — against America.

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